I haven’t blogged in a very long time, mostly because I haven’t been inspired. I’ve been drawn to other things. Frankly, race talk gets frustrating. But I will leave this blog up as long as I can. I appreciate the comments. I read them. I think through them. I accept them or I don’t.
Recently a commenter chided me for being “hostile” towards Biracial Tiffany and her “jealous blacks” story because, the commenter said, “Black women ARE jealous. It’s just a fact”. You can see her comment and my response here.
After responding, I decided to fish around Tiffany’s blog for the first time in ages. I’m glad I did. I’m glad my comment to the girl was spot on. I’m glad I trusted my own instincts and experiences and responded truthfully rather than diplomatically. And I’m glad I am encouraging everyone, but particularly Black women, to understand what happens when Black women are silent about the dysfunctions and hypocrisies of biracial women, while you allow them to shape the stories that others hear about you. The post in question is here
While participating in racial voyeurism on BlackHairMedia.com, Biracial Tiffany (who admittedly has little connection with Black people in her offline life-which makes her voyeurism that much more interesting…and sad) came across a discussion about Halle Berry in which some poster stated that she does not believe Halle, or other Bircials are Black, nor should they be identified as such. Halle, the poster believes, should NOT be considered the “Most Beautiful Black Woman”. Makes sense, right? This argument has been made before, even by biracial writers. Basically, should half Black women be the dominant images of Black women we see in media? The simple answer is no. But when a Black woman says it, it’s a big problem for tragic mulattos.
No. Black women must be hateful and jealous. Biracial Tiffany decides that her opinion on the matter is so inflammatory that she best not mention it at all. Her other commenters aren’t as cowardly:
jess2248 says:
no one represents me, but me, and i do not represent other black women. as i said before, as soon as this country can get away from this race and color thing, i think we will all be better off. you have blacks and whites telling biracial people how they can or cannot identify. it’s ridiculous. i hate to hear biracial (non-black with black) being hated on by black or white women, but black especially. it always comes off sounding like envy. and that is just another divisive tactic in my opinion. i don’t hear a lot of it in this blog, but on others it gets really nasty.
Now I’m not trying to be funny. Look at the image above. Does this look like a woman who will EVER have to worry about negotiating her racial identity with white women? LOL-would she dare to try if she could? Exactly. She’s talking about being “hated on”. I will stop right here. The commenter I discussed earlier that said I was hostile to Tiffany claimed Black women are jealous of her hair. This commenter has typical African hair (and nose and lips) but still experiences this gut-wrenching jealousy. How can this be??????
Remember what I said about the complex. If it is not excessive adoration, tragic mulattos will believe it is jealousy.
An even bigger tragedy, Margie said:
And I havete. But I hat the “big” curly kinky hair that black people call “Good hair” and then get mad at me when I repeat them. I’m just discovering the fact that a lot of black women get perms and wigs to try and look like their mulatto counterparts. (ex: Halle Berry. Black Women get weaves to look like Halle Berry and then the media just labels them all black. “This is how to do black women’s hair- no it’s not.
She must not know that Halle wears weaves. And tons of them. She must not know that biracials straighten and relax their hair. Tons of them. Who are they trying to look like??? Take a wild guess. The above comment was said after she went on about her lack of commonality with “the blacks”. Sigh…
The other ones were too stupid to stay on topic and started talking about how music and money makes them less Black. Typical minority racial hierarchy climbing stuff, talking about being the special darky at expensive White schools (and pretending like they just blended in there and had no racial experiences, lmao). No need to cover that stuff here.
Of course Bethenny was the clueless white mom worried for her future tragedy:
Reading that conversation was really annoying to me…which surprised me. I don’t usually take those kinds of comments personally. I’m white and my husband is black…I get so sad when I think about how my children are going to have to hear and deal with conversations like that. Like they’re a science experiment or a food that needs to be labeled. I wish people would get a life. I wish it didn’t have to be a debate. I’m sorry Tiff, I’m just so sad right now for my children. I hope I can raise them to be above all the superficial and negative energy people give out on the topic.
Black women owning their identities and deciding who is “them” and who isn’t, is interpreted by a White woman as “negativity”. Read my post about the origins of the modern biracial movement. It started with women like her.
So to sum up this whole exchange on Tiffany’s blog, if Halle calls herself Black, they’re mad. If Black women say Halle is biracial, they’re mad. if Black women say Halle is Black, they’re mad. Anything a Black woman has to say that is not a loving, uncritical complement…THEY WILL BE MAD.
You may not be allowed to tell other people who they are, but you sure as hell can tell them they ARE NOT LIKE YOU. Everyone has a place in this conversation. Especially if they’re toying with your racial identity.
In this “post racial” climate, Black women can’t win for losing. Do Not Play Their Game. When it comes to your identity, you’re allowed to set your own rules. Tragic mulattos be darned.
I don’t have an issue with biracials, I’m pretty indifferent. The way I see it, if they have to gauge the reaction of black women every single time they speak and analyze comments that black women make, then they are pathetic souls indeed. Time is money and if they want to waste it on “the jealousy of black women” I say go for it.
Comment by Heather — May 14, 2011 @ 12:11 am |
After reading your blog, and now your additional comments I can’t help but think; what is your motivation for creating this blog? I could certainly speculate, as I’m trained in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of mental illness, but that would only be superfluous. And, quite honestly, in fairness, I’m not you.
What I can do is attempt to understand your personality structure as it relates to the creation of this blog. Well, for starters, there has to be a certain degree or level of narcissism. Not only with the inception of this blog but even its antithesis; the tragic Negro blog. Both bloggers appear to believe that in some form or fashion they are the messiahs for persons of predominately African heritage or for persons with a fair amount of racial mixture(s).
Many times in your blog you contradict yourself by stating “biracial people sic should be able to identify as such, only to be followed with an attempt to lambast anyone that doesn’t readily accept the black label. You see I’m proud, and happen to be biracial, mulatto, half-breed, or any other descriptive label for persons with a fairly equal amount of racial mixture. I have to admit for awhile I completely avoided what I would deem monoracial blacks, simply because of the ignorant experiences that I had while interacting with them.
However, I think, in most of the cases of mulattos that go through a healthy cathartic change, anger is only a mere antecedent. I have no ill will towards monoracial blacks as I don’t have ill will towards other races. However, I just happen to really enjoy the company of persons like myself, and mulatto women…..Whoa. That’s a whole different topic of which I could shower my admiration and innate attraction to for ions upon ions. Nationalism comes to mind, but that, in and of itself, is a whole entirely different topic. I digress.
The bottom line is that your “blog” is nothing more than someone who feels that it is their duty to put mulattos “in their place”. As far as your cries that biracial women are self-serving and completely embellish their tales of woe re: monoracial black women. I would ask for descriptive statistical analyses such as Pearson and Dobson et al. 2010 or Jackson, Rivers, and Walters, et. Al. 2010 that refute the findings of these educated statisticians that reported; through surveys and interviews that there is hostility between monoracial black’s women and biracial women. One question, if you are all about change or “defending the good name of blacks”, why would you utilize unproven and easily refuted findings?
Comment by metalheadmulatto — July 4, 2011 @ 4:09 am |
@Metalhead
I’m almost certain you haven’t left an unnecessarily lengthy (and poor) psychoanalysis the author of tragic negroes- possibly because you admittedly relate to his foolishness (nationalism, right?)
I will entertain you just this once.
I’ve written on more than one occasion that I believe that people can call themselves what they please. However, many mulattoes struggle to define themselves positively WITHOUT maligning blacks. Obviously, you were one of those at some point (probably still are) since you believed half of your racial makeup are ignorant and worthy of prejudgement.
I don’t need to put mulattos in their place, they do it to themselves every time they feel the need to be conveniently “other” by perpetuating anti-black racism.
“I have to admit for awhile I completely avoided what I would deem monoracial blacks, simply because of the ignorant experiences that I had while interacting with them.”
This invalidates any complaint you would have about the existence of this blog. This blog is an explanation for those wondering why people like you act the way you do (or “did” as you claim).
Have you ever refuted the idea of animosity between biracials and monoracials on the websites of he numerous mulatto bloggers that exist???? I doubt it. Because when they make claims about jealousy that doesn’t bother you. When others purport they have no reason to think twice about mulattos, you come here to write a dissertation for me.
Biracial Tiffany is apparently indignant about the fact that some black women don’t consider Halle Berry Black. Are you over there telling her to stop trying to put black women “in their place”? Of course not. Because you really don’t give a fuck, lol. I don’t either.
As long as you are half black, and as long as ya’ll are closeted racist (as you admitted to being) I will say what I please on the matter.
Lastly, if you’re going to go the scholastic route at least quote what refuted findings you’re talking about and give the titles of the articles you claim refute my POV. Otherwise, save the posturing for Psych 101 at the local community college.
Comment by tragicmulattos — July 6, 2011 @ 12:38 am |
I am bi-racial. I have always considered myself to be black. I went to school with mostly white people. I think this is CRAZY. I have experienced racism on from both sides of my family tree. My life, however, is not tragic. The stupidity of others does not affect my mental state, I may get mad, but another’s opinion of me does not break or make me. Every African-American (from slavery decent) is MIXED. Someone was a Cherokee, or Asian, or Caucasian.
I had a professor who once told me that people would also have a need to pre judge one another. If we were all the same race, we wold judge by hair or eye color. If we were all homogenous (looked the same) we would judge one another on the tonality of our voice.
There will ALWAYS be ignorance.
There will ALWAYS be wisdom.
As a child growing up I thought that my father’s cousin was the most beautiful women in the world….She has a chemically treated do, she is dark-skinned with perfect skin tone (no blotches, no acne, no scars) she is curvier than most (badonkadonk). I say this because not every Mulatto has the feeling of superiority nor do I think that European women are the beauties that all others need to be compared to.
Comment by JustMe — July 5, 2011 @ 7:13 pm |
YAY “Just me”! i think so much energy exploring the racist, whether there melanin level be high or low is futile. End self hatred by focuses on your own esteem and beauty, physically and/or spiritually respectfully. im predominantly african american married to a european descent american and bcuz we addressed our racial isssues prior to meeting, race was not a major problem within our relationship. ….. when i realized a dedcade ago that i could just be me i stopped straightening my hair and other than a lil eye make up and some braided extentions now and then i dont augment my beauty and im better for it. luv urself its peace
Comment by notabox — December 30, 2011 @ 12:45 am |
“Lastly, if you’re going to go the scholastic route at least quote what refuted findings you’re talking about and give the titles of the articles you claim refute my POV. Otherwise, save the posturing for Psych 101 at the local community college”
Really? Seriously? And you purport to through out your blog (mostly through your power of the mighty black sword) to right the injustices done to your people? Come on. “Posturing for psych 101″ You have got to be kidding me. Any dipshit that has been to a junior college would know that there are 3 major psych/psychiatric journals that are consistently validated. Also, fyi, in any higher academic setting students just kind of know ……. laugh……….. that you don’t need to do anything more than site and verify at the end of any apa journal. Obviously, you were so hellbent on attacking me and trying to figure out my psyche that the basic elements of ahhhh fundamental psych. escaped you. .Oh geez and let me baffle you and your ilk; I think the same about “whites” ‘Caucasoids” or whatever you want to call them, as I do about “monoracial blacks”, which is basic indifference. Ya know that always seems to baffle most. Largely because I think many of you, yourself included, have this ridiculous assumption that Mulattos want to be white. Hmmmm, also, the internet is a playground for all types of wannabe (gawd, i don’t think i’ll ever get eubonics right
.Mental Health Professionals. Fortunately due to the strong covenants of APA, is coming to a demise. By the way, are you licensed as an MHP? and hey, by the way, again, what are you doing this Saturday?
Comment by metalheadmulatto — December 31, 2011 @ 12:49 pm |
Your nonsensical rant was hard to follow, but I’ll respond to the points I caught.
1. No, you’ll never get “EBONICS”, because 1. You’re not black 2. You’re not a linguist (they call it AAVE), and 3. You’re not bright.
2. There are more than 3 peer-reviewed psychological journals. I supposed your community college can only afford 3.
3. “Strong covenants of APA”. LMBAO. LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!! You are sooooo far from the tower…(I know you don’t get that. If you did, you wouldn’t have said what you said)
Comment by tragicmulattos — February 12, 2012 @ 10:46 pm
“If it is not excessive adoration, tragic mulattos will believe it is jealousy.”
This has been my experience. Non-blacks can sense when they are not overvalued and interpret the lack of excessive adoration as hostile and jealous. It seems they want to revel in their differences and become upset when treated as mere ‘equals’ and nothing special.
Comment by Odile — January 9, 2012 @ 11:41 pm |
As a non-black woman of color, allow me to explain a possible reason for biracial women nastiness toward black women.
It simply boils down to the way they were raised by their (ususally white) mother. Non black women who pair up with black men are for the most part an incredible mean & nasty bunch, & most of them downright hate black women & pass on that hatred of black women to their biracial children.
I used to be friend with several non-black women married to black (carribean) men, while they worshiped black men, they would say the most spiteful & hateful things about black women, then those same women would put on phoney smiles & fake friendly attitudes while in the presence of their husbands’ female relatives.
If you ever wondered why biracial men are so negative towards black women & why biracial women are so houghty & disdainful, wonder no more.
Comment by samadhi — January 17, 2012 @ 6:25 pm |